The Buddha is in the Details

(Can you find Buddha's face in the tree? Our friend Sam spotted this on a walk. Picture taken by Mr. Wildwood)

We've had some big life decisions to think about lately... one very important one being the birth of our baby girl this Spring. I've been going to the same birthing center I went to with Oona for my prenatal care, but something hasn't felt quite right this time. I've felt a lot of fear and anxiety with this pregnancy that I didn't have with my first. In part, I'm sure, because of my birthing experience with Oona was far from ideal. I've never fully written down Oona's birth story... when I started to after she was born it was too fresh and raw in my head. I know I should do it before I have another one and things start to get muddled together. But, anyways, there's been a fair degree of uncertainty with the path we're taken on this birth, and just last week I decided it might be a good idea to at least consider some other options.

One option is that there are two more hospitals, slightly farther away, that both have midwives... but they are big hospitals and I worry I will be pushed to use drugs or into a cesarean or other medical interventions I hope to avoid. The birthing center I am at now is attached to a hospital, but still tries to respect natural birth wishes. Still, it's probably worth investigating. 

Another option under serious consideration is a home birth. My sister and I were both born at home, and I don't have quite the fear of it that I know some people do. For Oona, it would mean possibly more involvement in the birth and not needing to be separated from me for near as long. For me, it would mean knowing exactly who my midwife is going to be, having the comfort of our own home, and having the support I feel is lacking in my current care. But there would also be more home preparation involved. The major obstacle for us is the cost. Insurance doesn't cover the full amount (even though hospital births are typically more expensive).

We could also stay where we are, and I could try to ride past the bad for the good parts. I don't know at this point. But it has got us really looking at our finances and how we can improve things so that we can make the choice based on what we want, and not what we have to do. Time to make a serious budget plan.

Any thoughts?