Thinking About Mamahood

No baby yet! The midwife at our last appointment said to try to think of it as if baby will come at the latest possible date, but be ready for it to be earlier. That's working well for me so far. Actually, I wish I had done that from the start! There is still so much to do here at home that I am not impatient, despite the utter exhaustion I am feeling from being pregnant.

I was talking to a friend yesterday on the phone and confessing that this journey to mamahood has not been all sugar and honey. I think people sometimes expect pregnant women to be over the moon happy all the time. I am definitely excited to meet our little one, definitely excited to learn what it is to be a mama, but there is also a lot of stress and anxiety I am feeling at the same time. I worry a lot about balance... balancing housework, balancing time to do creative things, balancing time with Jake and balancing time to be a good mom. I also worry what the loss of sleep will do to me. Maybe we'll get one of those super sleeper babes, but you never know. I think it hasn't helped that my hormones have had my emotions all over the place. One day I'm totally focused and in control and looking forward to so much... the next I feel angry and sad and not sure how I'm going to handle all this. I worry about losing myself somewhere in all this change. I'm only confessing all this because I know there are other mom's or mom's-to-be out there who have experienced the same fears and anxieties. I know Jake will help me. He is a really supportive and super guy. But lets face it, there are things babies need that Papa can't give. I think we will figure it out. I think I will be able to keep myself together and find a lot of joy in this new experience. Actually, I'm glad I am thinking about a lot of this now, before the baby comes, because maybe that will make me less stressed out afterward and better able to adjust. We're definitely planning on attending some parenting classes after the baby is born. I think it will be good to have the extra support and meet other new parents. There's one thing for sure, I have a tremendous new respect for mom's and pregnant women... it's no easy task to grow a baby and then raise it up right! Here's to mama's!


Karen said…
you are going to be a GREAT mama, bonnie! i can actually see you raising your child in a waldorf/montessori tradition.

i am hoping to send a package out to you on monday. it's been ready to go for a while, but life's just been so darned busy. i can't wait for you to open it, though!

hope you and baby and jake are nestling comfortably into winter up there.
Bonnie Wildwood said…
Thanks Karen! I hope so! Message me your new address when you get a chance.

Popular Posts